What Should My Entrance Music Be?

You think you can tell us what to do? Duh-nuh. Think you can tell us what to wear? Dun-nuh. You think that you’re better? Duh-nuh. Well, you better get ready. Bow to the Massssters….BREAK IT DOWN (Degeneration X Theme).

If WWE taught us anything, it’s that entrance music changes everything. It didn’t matter if the whole Nation of Domination was flexing in the ring, once that glass shattered, you knew Steve Austin was about to hit the ring, clean house, and show us why he was the toughest SOB/Texas Rattlesnake.

An “Oh You didn’t know…Your Ass Better Call Somebody!!!” by the Road Dogg Jesse James could amp any crowd. A surprise “Oh, Oh, Oh Shawn!!!” would cause a pop that would turn a whole stadium into a frenzy. And I think I would crap myself/ask for my last rights to be read if I had to fight Mike Tyson after he came out to DMX.

Entrance music is everything and as I prepare for my fight on April 7th, I have to make one of the most important decisions of my life: what will my entrance music be?

The Possibilities

1. Gangrel – The Brood Theme

When I was ten years old my dad took me and Matt Walsh to a WWF House Show. The most badass entrance by far was by Gangrel and the Brood (Edge & Christian). Their gimmick was that they were gothic styled vampires that would come to the ring with a chalice of blood and spray it everywhere. They would cut the lights for the entrance, a menacing sound of whispers would start, and they would arise from a circle of fire, total badass.

+/- of this entrance: If I came out as a gothic styled vampire spraying blood from a golden chalice for a charity boxing match, I’d probably think I look cool, but weird the shit out of everyone and be asked to never come back. Definitely in consideration.
2. The Game – El Chapo

Absolute banger. Put this song on right now and tell me you don’t want to do something aggressive. Says a few things about the President I don’t agree with, but besides that pretty solid choice to put on and get ready to run through a wall.

+/- of this entrance: The real meat of the song doesn’t start until almost a minute in and that may be way too long for my short exhibition entrance. Also, I don’t speak too much Spanish, so I’m just assuming the rest of the song isn’t screaming “Chris is a wimp, he’s going to lose.”

3. War – Why Can’t We Be Friends

Stole this from a classic Simpsons episode where Homer becomes a boxer and is forced to fight a Mike Tyson like champion for the belt. He knows he is going to lose and doesn’t want to get hurt, so he comes out to War’s “Why Can’t We Be Friends” an anti-violence, let’s get along, ballad, and a joke that still makes me chuckle.

+/- of this entrance: Pretty funny, but makes me look like a beta right away (may be true, but not trying to tip my hand with the entrance).

4. Pharoahe Monch – Simon Says

This song starts with the menacing music of a 1950’s bad guy, but when the bass drops at 13 seconds, I would expect the final boss of a video game to come in and start kicking ass.

+/- of this entrance: This would have been my song last year if I got picked for haymakers, but I think I’ve listened to it too many times and don’t get the same energy from it anymore.

5. Roy Jones Jr- Can’t Be Touched

Another absolute banger. Roy Jones Jr. was the rare athlete that dabbled in music and actually made a good song. Put this track on and you’re good for at least three minutes of hitting the bag and doing pushups.

+/- of this entrance: Solid choice but a little bit of false advertising. If there’s anything my sparring has shown it’s that I can be touched and rocked.

6. Shawn Michaels – Theme Song

Huge HBK guy growing up. I lived for the sweet chin music and ran around the school yard telling people to suck it. I even got my chance to meet the ShowStoppa a few years ago at an autograph signing (he wasn’t too impressed when I told him how many times we had won the tag titles on N64).

+/- of this entrance: If I came out to Sexy Boy – gyrating, prancing and flexing seductively to the crowd, I may have the time of my life, but I’m pretty sure Ranna’s dad, Baba, will never look at me the same again. Also, the children in attendance may be a tad confused/disturbed.

7. Eminem – Lose Yourself

Ultimate pump up song of all time. Especially for a white boy about to do something he’s never done before in front of huge crowd. I will have to lose myself and get everything I’ve ever wanted in my life in one moment. Also, this is no Meiki Pheifer, this is my life.

+/- of this entrance: Will always be a badass entrance, but might be a tad cliche.

8. The Game – Red Nation

Seal Team 6 listened to this song on their way by helicopter to kill Osama Bin Laden. It doesn’t get more badass than that.

+/- of this entrance: Good enough for Seal Team 6, good enough for me. However, this has always been my friend Dave’s anthem and I don’t want to bite his style.

9. Steel Panther – Eye of the Panther

Steel Panther is my favorite band and this is the song they kickoff almost every show with. It’s fast, loud, and gets the people going. Interestingly enough it’s also one of their only songs that doesn’t contain inappropriate lyrics.

+/- of this entrance: In contention. If Lexxi was nice to me on my birthday, I would have picked it.

10. Rob Bailey and the Hustle Standard (Busta Rhymes, KXNG Crooked & Tech N9ne) – Beast SouthPaw Remix

This is my #1 workout track that I’ve listened to as I’ve prepared for the fight. It taps into your animal psyche, makes you want to roar, and then crush things.

The song is a remix and is from the boxing movie Southpaw.

+/- of this entrance: Uses cuss words, but is a very serious contender.

Well, that’s it. Let me know what song you think I should go with and if there are any bangers I should put on my workout mix.

Other honorable mentions: Nas – Hate Me Now, NWA – Straight Out of Compton, G Unit- Bad News, Biggie – Hypnotise, Taking Back Sunday – How Does it Feel to be a Ghost?

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